Miracles and Wonders
Birds and other signs
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Ask and you shall receive. That is so true. I had a big decision to make. The biggest
decision of my life and I didn’t know what to do. So I asked God for help and
guidance. I asked for Him to give me a sign and He did.
After my sixth chemo treatment, my oncologist told me that I had to make a decision.
I had had a complete response after the 6 rounds of chemo that constitute the standard
course of therapy for ovarian cancer, and my latest PET scan had showed no evidence
of any remaining cancer. But since ovarian cancer has such a high rate of recurrence,
options for ongoing "maintenance" therapy were discussed. A study had been done
with ovarian cancer patients who had had successful surgeries and a complete response
to chemotherapy, and it found that additional chemo treatments may postpone the
recurrence of the cancer. He suggested that I should strongly consider undergoing an
additional year of monthly chemotherapy, but knowing how hard it was on me, he
emphasized that the ultimate decision would be mine. He also mentioned that this
approach was not yet considered standard care, and that even the doctors within his
office were not uniformly in support of this option.
So now what? I want to survive and live a normal life, but is this option worth the
risks. On the plus side it might extend my life, but on the minus side I could squander
the time I have left suffering through treatments instead of enjoying life. It was too
much for me to handle by myself, so once again I turn to Christ for help. I had already
surrendered the burden of my cancer to Him, and received the blessed miracle of
healing. I still had faith that I was cured, but I wondered if God was working through
the doctors and treatments in order to keep me cancer free. I wanted to do the right
thing, but did that mean I should be strong and endure the treatments because God that
is how God planned to complete my healing, or should I simply have faith that I’m
already completely cured?
I prayed hard over the next few days following a 7th round of chemo which could be
the first of the extra year’s worth of therapy. I probably prayed harder than ever
before and I received an answer. The weekend before I would go to see my second
oncologist to get his opinion about maintenance therapy, I decided to sit down and read
the scientific paper describing study on maintenance therapy for ovarian cancer
patients. I hoped that I would learn something that would help me reach a decision
because I had procrastinated for days, but thought I couldn’t wait any longer. When I
finished reading I had a lot more facts but no clear thoughts.
After a couple of hours of internal debate about the facts from the study, my sister,
whom I'm very close to, calls me unexpectedly. So I try explaining both the study and
my thoughts about it to her, and as I say the words aloud I begin to realize that I don't
believe that the potential benefits justify the risks. I wondered if perhaps this call was
God's way of helping me work out my feelings. Or was it just a coincidence? The
following day, on the drive to church, I again started to pray for guidance. Then I look
out the front windshield of the car and see a flock of birds flying away. It strikes me
how similar these birds look to the ones from my dream months before, but this time
instead of flying toward the car and posing a danger, they are flying away as if to
indicate the danger has passed. Maybe this is another sign? Still I’m not sure. Then as
I'm sitting in church continuing to pray for a sign, asking God for guidance for both me
and my doctors, and asking for some confirmation that the birds meant that I was out
of danger, I see a woman sitting in the row ahead of us, and she is a dead ringer for my
sister which reminds be of our phone call . I’ve seen this woman since then and she
does look quite a bit like my sister, but on that day, seeing her for the first time, the
resemblance was so strong that I would have thought she was my sister if that had
been possible. Then I knew then that God had sent me all these signs and was letting
me know that He has given me a complete cure.
There's a very important lesson in all of this. When you ask God for guidance, His
answer may not come in a thunderbolt type moment. Instead, he may send a sequence
of little triggers that direct your thoughts down the correct path. First, a phone call
from my sister that helped me understand my own thoughts, then a flock a birds to
remind me of the first time he had spoken to me and to show me that my situation had
changed, and then a woman who looked like my sister so that I would put the two
things together and realize that my decision had been made.
A few days later, my second oncologist strongly advised me against further treatments
and so the 7th chemo session became the last one. My CA 125 cancer marker
continues to stay within normal range and I’m cancer free.
decision of my life and I didn’t know what to do. So I asked God for help and
guidance. I asked for Him to give me a sign and He did.
After my sixth chemo treatment, my oncologist told me that I had to make a decision.
I had had a complete response after the 6 rounds of chemo that constitute the standard
course of therapy for ovarian cancer, and my latest PET scan had showed no evidence
of any remaining cancer. But since ovarian cancer has such a high rate of recurrence,
options for ongoing "maintenance" therapy were discussed. A study had been done
with ovarian cancer patients who had had successful surgeries and a complete response
to chemotherapy, and it found that additional chemo treatments may postpone the
recurrence of the cancer. He suggested that I should strongly consider undergoing an
additional year of monthly chemotherapy, but knowing how hard it was on me, he
emphasized that the ultimate decision would be mine. He also mentioned that this
approach was not yet considered standard care, and that even the doctors within his
office were not uniformly in support of this option.
So now what? I want to survive and live a normal life, but is this option worth the
risks. On the plus side it might extend my life, but on the minus side I could squander
the time I have left suffering through treatments instead of enjoying life. It was too
much for me to handle by myself, so once again I turn to Christ for help. I had already
surrendered the burden of my cancer to Him, and received the blessed miracle of
healing. I still had faith that I was cured, but I wondered if God was working through
the doctors and treatments in order to keep me cancer free. I wanted to do the right
thing, but did that mean I should be strong and endure the treatments because God that
is how God planned to complete my healing, or should I simply have faith that I’m
already completely cured?
I prayed hard over the next few days following a 7th round of chemo which could be
the first of the extra year’s worth of therapy. I probably prayed harder than ever
before and I received an answer. The weekend before I would go to see my second
oncologist to get his opinion about maintenance therapy, I decided to sit down and read
the scientific paper describing study on maintenance therapy for ovarian cancer
patients. I hoped that I would learn something that would help me reach a decision
because I had procrastinated for days, but thought I couldn’t wait any longer. When I
finished reading I had a lot more facts but no clear thoughts.
After a couple of hours of internal debate about the facts from the study, my sister,
whom I'm very close to, calls me unexpectedly. So I try explaining both the study and
my thoughts about it to her, and as I say the words aloud I begin to realize that I don't
believe that the potential benefits justify the risks. I wondered if perhaps this call was
God's way of helping me work out my feelings. Or was it just a coincidence? The
following day, on the drive to church, I again started to pray for guidance. Then I look
out the front windshield of the car and see a flock of birds flying away. It strikes me
how similar these birds look to the ones from my dream months before, but this time
instead of flying toward the car and posing a danger, they are flying away as if to
indicate the danger has passed. Maybe this is another sign? Still I’m not sure. Then as
I'm sitting in church continuing to pray for a sign, asking God for guidance for both me
and my doctors, and asking for some confirmation that the birds meant that I was out
of danger, I see a woman sitting in the row ahead of us, and she is a dead ringer for my
sister which reminds be of our phone call . I’ve seen this woman since then and she
does look quite a bit like my sister, but on that day, seeing her for the first time, the
resemblance was so strong that I would have thought she was my sister if that had
been possible. Then I knew then that God had sent me all these signs and was letting
me know that He has given me a complete cure.
There's a very important lesson in all of this. When you ask God for guidance, His
answer may not come in a thunderbolt type moment. Instead, he may send a sequence
of little triggers that direct your thoughts down the correct path. First, a phone call
from my sister that helped me understand my own thoughts, then a flock a birds to
remind me of the first time he had spoken to me and to show me that my situation had
changed, and then a woman who looked like my sister so that I would put the two
things together and realize that my decision had been made.
A few days later, my second oncologist strongly advised me against further treatments
and so the 7th chemo session became the last one. My CA 125 cancer marker
continues to stay within normal range and I’m cancer free.