What a day it's been.  I complain about wanting to do normal things and how bored I am sitting around the house doing nothing.  It's true, be careful what you wish for.   Today has had more ups and downs than most roller coaster rides!

Part one.... My sister arrived late morning.  She drove 5 hours from Atlanta to Charlotte to get a chance to visit a few days.  Normally a visit would mean non-stop chatting, shopping, and fun for us.  Yes, any "sister" visit drives our husbands crazy because my sis and I turn into giggly teenage girls.    But of course this time, it was different.  Instead of an afternoon revolving around snacking and shopping, I had a chemo treatment.  Instead of trying out a new lunch spot, my husband packs some sandwiches and we all head to the hospital.  Instead of questions about what's happening at work, it's questions about how the treatment is going.  Not exactly giggly teenage girl material.

I've had my share of chemo so that it should be easy by now,  but having a new family member along is hard.  By now, I'm totally used to the whole hospital thing and all the needles and such, but I worry how my sister will deal with it.  It's almost like going in for the first time again.  To make it worse, there's a couple of glitches.  This time they have a really hard time finding a vein to draw blood for the lab.  Three attempts finally do the trick but that would have to happen while my sis is with me.  And then I find out that the drug company didn't supply my chemo drug for today's chemo and that I'll have to wait until tomorrow.  I've never heard of that before.  How could the company that makes the drug and is in charge of the study not supply the drug on time?  Could be the stress of having my sister visiting and having to show her what chemo is like, or  the last days of side effects finally getting to me, or perhaps just the frustration of having 3 needle stabbings to draw blood and then finding out they can't even do the chemo, but I lose it and start to cry.   The nurse tries to calm me down and assure me that they're doing everything they can to get the drug in for tomorrow and that at least I'll have my blood work done and that I can still see the doctor yet to go over the CT scan results.

Part two... Going in to see the doctor and even that was filled with ups and downs.  Yes, indeed, what a day.  First off, the doctor assured me that a one day delay in chemo would not effect the treatment.  "Zero!" he says.  That's good and then I expect to hear more good news with my scan results.  I'd  been reading Joel Osteen's Daily Word email messages about how important it is to not just ask God and believe He will answer prayers, but to go the extra step and trust so strongly that you fully expect the result and know.  Even though I had a cry out in the chemo area, I still believed I was going to get good news.  No doubt at all and you know what?  I did!!   The results were as good as they could get.  The enlarged lymph node in my abdomen which had a positive biopsy for cancer had shrunk back to normal size.  The actual words the doctor used were "awesome" and "that except for the chemo, I'm healthy".  I should have been jumping up and down with joy or on my knees giving thanks to Jesus, but my mind was still fixed on the first words out of his mouth.   With chemo fog, it's hard to process more than one thing at a time, and until the first thing is processed, it's hard to go on to the next. 

Not to blame the doctor because he didn't know that I didn't know or that nobody had even mentioned it to me, but I guess this showed up on the first CT scan I had done before starting chemo and not on the PET scan and that it was just so slightly swollen that it really wasn't anything to worry about.  Anyway, the first words the doctor said was that the spot on my lungs was smaller.  Lung??  What??   I immediately thought he had pulled somebody else's scan by mistake.  My Osteen positivity still holding strong.  But then he went on to the abdomen lymph node and that it was normal size and awesome etc etc, so this really is about me.  Turns out the earliest CT scan before starting chemo did show a slightly swollen lymph node under my arm at the side of my chest.  No big deal I guess.  It's the one in my abdomen that's the one to be concerned with.  The doctor explained that the lymph node in the chest area is done on what they call the lung (chest)  scan so that's why he said spot on my lung.   So I have this terrific fantastic news, but my mind is still dwelling on this "new area" and what it really means that it's was swollen and still is just a bit.  I'll have to ask the doctor next time about this when I'm not panicked.   My husband, sister and I go out for a nice dinner to celebrate but the emotions of the day have worn me out.  Can't say that I felt like it was a celebration so much as just getting something to eat.  Then home for a little tv and sleep because I have chemo tomorrow and need my rest if tomorrow is going to be anything like today was!