I'm almost over my cold.  Just a little cough and stuffiness.  Good thing too because today I go in for my blood work and to see the nurse practioner and get ready for another round of chemo for tomorrow.   It's all routine though.  Almost too routine.  Check in, draw blood, take my weight, temp, and blood pressure, see if there's any changes in my meds, wait for nurse, how's it going, any side effects, do you need meds for them, good scan results, get a gyneo exam, all is fine, schedule for next time, and check out papers.  Yes, I have it all down.  Yet I'm struggling more than ever when I have an appointment. 

I'm doing really well and still it just gets harder and harder for me to go for blood work and the treatments.  I can't explain why, it just is.  I'm confident that it's working, through a strong faith in Jesus and a fantastic scan result, the treatments are short and only somewhat uncomfortable, and the staff are nice and understanding.  There's nothing that should cause anxiety, but I think I've developed an adversion to doing treatments.  I can't even stand to see anything medical on tv with IV's or fluids or monitors.  It makes me queasy and unsettled and anxious.   What can I say?  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!