I am feeling better today.  Not that I'm able to do much, but it's going to be an okay day.  Most of the really bad side effects have lessened.  I'm keeping a diary of my side effects and I've come to a sad conclusion.  I have about 10 side effects from the chemo drugs, pre meds for the chemo, and medications I take to combat the chemo and pre med symptoms.  And on any given day, I experience 8 of the 10.  Yes, that's a lot in my opinion, but it's not all at the same time or with the same intensity.  Actually, every hour it's different.  It's like what they say of the weather in Colorado.  If you don't like it, wait 20 minutes. 

My doctor is amazed that I should have so many symptoms since most patients doing the topotecan only suffer low blood counts.  But then I believe some of my symptoms are from that.  Regardless, I know what I know and I know my body, and I do have these symptoms and it's from doing chemo. 

Here's the ten:  1, I'm tired or get tired easily, 2, I have a headache, yes ever since July I have a headache, sometimes bad, but for the most part just dull pressure behind my eyebrows, 3, either constipation or diarreah or both, yes, some days it can go from one extreme to the next, 4, nausea or starving, or both, and the reason I'm gaining weight 5, cold sores, I get one or two with each round, 6, aches and pain, 7, sore throat, 8, ears ringing, 9, coughing, and 10, sneezing.   Quite a list, huh? 

And lately, I'm dizzy every time I get up after sitting for a while and any activity sends my pulse rate up.  Just rolling over in bed, I can feel my pulse racing.  I know that's from anemia (low red blood count).   Actually the tiredness is probably anemic related too, and I believe the aches and pain are from low white blood counts.  I may be making this up, but last time I did chemo and took Neulasta to boost my white count, it caused terrible pain in my bones and muscles too.  I think my current minor aches and pains which usually last the following days after chemo is from my body on its own trying to produce more white blood cells.  Doctors may scoff that I can feel white blood cells being produced, but I do know my body and I can see this trend documented in my "symptom diary". 

There's a lot of things that I believe are true that doctors and modern science will think is hogwash.  I've always gotten side effects from any medication I've taken, so why should chemo be any different?  And I've always reacted quickly and well to any medication.  If I have a headache, I can take the minimum one aspirin, and 10-20 minutes later, I'm fine.  Now this next part is what may be hard to believe, but I honestly do.  That God has given me this super sensitivity to medication as a gift.  Yes, so that now, when I need the chemo to work, it does.  Perhaps I've had too much time to think while being on medical leave and laying in bed too tired to do much of anything.   But I've reflected back on my life and with my renewed relationship with Jesus and faith in getting healed, I've come to believe my sensitivity to medication is a blessing that I didn't realize until now.  So yes, I may have a lot of symptoms, but I'm okay with that.  It's a good lesson to learn.  Be thankful in everything because God is good in all things.