October 29, 2007
I have every side effect I've ever had after doing chemo this last time. I think it's because I finished this treatment so worn down from the hospital stay. I'm miserable. Fatigued, tired, nausea, coughing, sneezing, chills, headache, groggy, runny nose, and aches besides the constipation. My husband tries to cheer me up by telling me that I should feel better soon and this was the worse part of this round and that I only have one more small treatment left to do next week. He's so logical and trying to help and console me and is doing everything possible to get me through this ----foot massages, making me my favorite foods, etc ---but the truth of the matter is that I am miserable right now and have been like that the last 2 days and I really just want to rip his head off when he tries to be so nice. I know it's wrong to feel like that, but my mind and body are at their limits and it just feels like this is never going to end. No logic or comfort seems to help right now. Luckily I'm so miserable that I'm mostly sleeping. If I did have some strength, I probably would be throwing something against the wall in frustration and anger.