Today I had a second treatment of the study drug topotecan. I'm on a 3 week chemo cycle with day 1 carboplatin with topotecan and day 8 is extra topotecan. Previous studies have shown 5 days straight of topotecan per cycle helped with ovarian cancer recurrences. But 5 days straight of topotecan also really wiped out the patient's white and red blood counts. Severe anemia and infections occurred. This study is one done based on optimizing the benefits of topotecan and minimizing the blow to the patient.

Oh how I hope and pray, this is the right dosage for me. Clinical trials and stats are good and all, but I know that it's all just numbers. Every cancer is different and each individual is different. If the numbers told the whole story I wouldn't have had a complete response the first time with chemo. So if doing the topotecan treatments just twice in a cycle is right for me, I don't know. I hate to have to deal with brutal side effects, but I want the treatment to work. I can't bring myself to think about what if this doesn't get all the cancer this time or if I'll have another recurrence after a year. That's just unbearable and yet the possibility is there.