Miracles and Wonders
She is cured
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In the days immediately following the initial diagnosis and before the beginning of
treatments, I had some very rough nights. I would lie awake trembling with fear at the
thought of losing Debbie. We have been married for almost 25 years, and she has been
my only true love. So my first thoughts when hearing her prognosis were fear that I
might actually die if she did not survive . Then my immediate second thought was an
even bigger fear that I might not.
Even though I hadn't been inside a church for any reason other than a funeral for
almost 20 years, I spent those days in almost constant prayer. I set about trying to
rekindle my long dormant relationship with God, and I prayed for Debbie's recovery like
I had never before prayed in my life. I went through my own version of the five stages
of grief that I call the five stages of prayer. Instead of denial, anger, bargaining,
depression and acceptance, it was pleading, promising, bargaining, surrender, and
acceptance. I plead for a miracle, I promised to lead a better life, and I offered to give
up anything or everything that I had, before finally surrendering myself to God without
reservation, and accepting His will no matter what that might mean. By placing myself
and our problems into God's hands I was able to begin to find peace, but the fear still
pulled at me whenever I was alone with my thoughts.
On about the third day after the diagnosis, I was driving to the store alone and casually
praying almost like having a conversation with God. I don't particularly remember the
details of that prayer. I think it was mostly about giving us the strength and courage to
face the upcoming treatments, and wisdom to make the correct choices concerning
treatment options, and to guide the doctor's as they performed Deb's surgery. It was a
fairly short prayer, because the store is only a few blocks from our house. As I was
approaching the end of the prayer, I suddenly felt warmth and calmness wash over me.
Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I started to laugh out loud and shout "Thank
you, God" because at that moment I knew in my soul that Debbie had been cured.
Some people say they actually hear God speak in answer to their prayers, for me it was
as if God had written the answer on my heart. In an instant, I knew that God would
cure her, and I knew it with a certainty that I had never felt about anything else in my
life. I didn't know how she would be cured or when it would happen. The cancer might
have already disappeared or it might respond to medical treatment and slowly vanish
over the next six months, but the cure was a certainty.
From that moment forward, I never again felt the fear. Yes, waiting to see the doctor
made me anxious, and reading or hearing test results always filled my stomach with
nervous energy, but I never felt the bone crushing, soul killing fear that had haunted my
nights. I could still make myself think "what if she dies" but I could no longer make it
seem like a real possibility. God had answered my prayers.
treatments, I had some very rough nights. I would lie awake trembling with fear at the
thought of losing Debbie. We have been married for almost 25 years, and she has been
my only true love. So my first thoughts when hearing her prognosis were fear that I
might actually die if she did not survive . Then my immediate second thought was an
even bigger fear that I might not.
Even though I hadn't been inside a church for any reason other than a funeral for
almost 20 years, I spent those days in almost constant prayer. I set about trying to
rekindle my long dormant relationship with God, and I prayed for Debbie's recovery like
I had never before prayed in my life. I went through my own version of the five stages
of grief that I call the five stages of prayer. Instead of denial, anger, bargaining,
depression and acceptance, it was pleading, promising, bargaining, surrender, and
acceptance. I plead for a miracle, I promised to lead a better life, and I offered to give
up anything or everything that I had, before finally surrendering myself to God without
reservation, and accepting His will no matter what that might mean. By placing myself
and our problems into God's hands I was able to begin to find peace, but the fear still
pulled at me whenever I was alone with my thoughts.
On about the third day after the diagnosis, I was driving to the store alone and casually
praying almost like having a conversation with God. I don't particularly remember the
details of that prayer. I think it was mostly about giving us the strength and courage to
face the upcoming treatments, and wisdom to make the correct choices concerning
treatment options, and to guide the doctor's as they performed Deb's surgery. It was a
fairly short prayer, because the store is only a few blocks from our house. As I was
approaching the end of the prayer, I suddenly felt warmth and calmness wash over me.
Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I started to laugh out loud and shout "Thank
you, God" because at that moment I knew in my soul that Debbie had been cured.
Some people say they actually hear God speak in answer to their prayers, for me it was
as if God had written the answer on my heart. In an instant, I knew that God would
cure her, and I knew it with a certainty that I had never felt about anything else in my
life. I didn't know how she would be cured or when it would happen. The cancer might
have already disappeared or it might respond to medical treatment and slowly vanish
over the next six months, but the cure was a certainty.
From that moment forward, I never again felt the fear. Yes, waiting to see the doctor
made me anxious, and reading or hearing test results always filled my stomach with
nervous energy, but I never felt the bone crushing, soul killing fear that had haunted my
nights. I could still make myself think "what if she dies" but I could no longer make it
seem like a real possibility. God had answered my prayers.