Miracles and Wonders
Lessons learned
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In reflecting back on my personal experience with cancer, I've learned some hard and
honest truths and ways that I was able to cope. It was just as much of a mental as
physical challenge for me and I would like to share some of these with others. I know
everyone’s cancer is different and their journeys are just as different, and this is just the
story of mine.
It’s been a year since my cancer diagnosis. After surgery and 7 rounds of IV chemo,
my scan is clean and I can only explain it as a blessed miracle considering my stage IV
prognosis. There really is no other way to explain what has happened to me and how I
got through this without Jesus. I had accepted Christ as my Savior twenty-some years
ago but slowly drifted away from church and religion to the point where the Bible was
just a book and Church was just a social obligation that I politely passed. Yet when it
came to dealing with my illness and the upcoming medical battles, out of sheer
desperation I turned to God for help and He heard my cry. My journey with cancer is a
spiritual journey and the two can not be separated. I’m amazed even now with how
interconnected my physical, mental, and spiritual parts were throughout my treatments
and how both my body and soul were healed.
Faced with a deadly terminal illness I was in shock. I had gone to my doctor with a
lump in my neck. I had no other symptoms and felt great other than having this simple
unexplained lump. 18 months prior, my husband and I had proudly started on a low
fat, low sugar, low salt diet and stuck to an exercise program that I had come up with
to decrease his cholesterol and increase my calcium intake. I had successfully lost and
kept off 20 pounds and my husband 8 pounds and our cholesterol levels were great. I
literally felt the best that I had for years. So it was a total shock to hear that I had
cancer and even more that it was so advanced.
My life stopped at that point. It was like the earth literally stopped spinning. Work,
family, friends, money or any other cares or worries disappeared and the only thing I
could think about was that “I have cancer”. The days leading up to the surgery were
empty and I was like a robot just going through the motions of daily life. I couldn't eat
or sleep. I kept playing back the office visit and hearing the doctor say, “It’s cancer”.
So there I was, lying in bed in the middle of the night unable to fall asleep or quiet my
mind. The room was so dark and the only noise was in my brain. I felt so alone and I
cried and I was so worried about making it through the surgery and what the upcoming
chemo treatments would do to me and if I could even make it through the side effects.
That’s when I learned my first lesson, although at the time, it was just the only thing I
could do. I prayed. Having to go through cancer was more than I could possibly
handle. I had to admit it. There was no way that I was going to get through this on
my own. I needed help. I needed something that I didn't have and that family or friends
couldn't give me. So I turned to God. I don’t remember exactly how I started or what
I said, only that the simple act of praying calmed me and as I continued I felt a warm
and soothing sensation over my entire body like a hand gently pressing on me as I
drifted off to sleep. Lesson One ---Surrender. Admit that there are things that are
bigger and harder than you can handle by yourself and say "OK. I need you, Lord.
Please help me." Allow God into your heart and allow Him to show you the mercy of
His love and the power of His grace. It’s an amazing and beautiful thing to have this
happen. I know. Believe me, I know. This was the first step in my recovery and there
was no way I could have done it otherwise.
I started my chemo treatments just one week after my surgery. The following weeks
were hard and painful and scary. It was the most difficult months of my life and
seemed like it would never end. Each day seemed so long and only filled with fear of
what was yet to come. I only got through this by learning a second lesson. Lesson
Two ---Give your Burden to the Lord. Lean on the strength of the Lord for help.
Pray daily asking for what you need. I recall struggling with joint pains and being so
exhausted and tired. Not even sleep would help. I wasn't able to do anything other
than lie in bed. Even watching TV took more energy than I had. I prayed at times like
this for strength --- strength to get through the next ten minutes, strength to make it to
the next hour, strength to face the next day. Jesus helped me to do this. I suppose the
atheist would have other explanations of how this works. The simple act of praying
would be meditation or that I was projecting and using visualization, but I know in my
heart the truth. Praying would calm me and relax me and I was able to endure
everything I had to go through. Jesus heard and answered.
Now my cancer journey is on to the next stage and I've learned another important
lesson dealing with the daily struggle of coping. I've finished with the chemo
treatments and they have worked. It’s been 10 months since my last treatment and
every scan shows no evidence of cancer. Still it's a mental challenge to withstand the
testing and doctor appointments and the fear of a recurrence. At times, I feel it’s
harder than the original diagnosis because now I know what chemo is like and that I
would have to go through that all again. It’s depressing and also hard trying to come to
terms with life after going through so much. Sometimes I wonder if my life will ever
be normal. That’s when I learned this last lesson. Actually this is one lesson that I’m
still learning. Lesson Three ---Let the Lord Take your Burden. It’s a simple
concept, but like I said, I still struggle. If you truly give your burden to God, you have
to let go of it. I shouldn't be like the man who was walking with a very heavy burden
and about every mile or so he would stop, put down his burden, and get down on his
knees and ask God to take this heavy burden away from him. And when he finished his
prayers, he would stand up, dust off his robes, then pick up his burden and walk on.
Trust in the Lord to take and keep the burden so that there is no need to dwell on
what's going to happen or worry about all of the "what ifs". Peace of mind only comes
with peace of the heart and soul and that peace is only through faith.
honest truths and ways that I was able to cope. It was just as much of a mental as
physical challenge for me and I would like to share some of these with others. I know
everyone’s cancer is different and their journeys are just as different, and this is just the
story of mine.
It’s been a year since my cancer diagnosis. After surgery and 7 rounds of IV chemo,
my scan is clean and I can only explain it as a blessed miracle considering my stage IV
prognosis. There really is no other way to explain what has happened to me and how I
got through this without Jesus. I had accepted Christ as my Savior twenty-some years
ago but slowly drifted away from church and religion to the point where the Bible was
just a book and Church was just a social obligation that I politely passed. Yet when it
came to dealing with my illness and the upcoming medical battles, out of sheer
desperation I turned to God for help and He heard my cry. My journey with cancer is a
spiritual journey and the two can not be separated. I’m amazed even now with how
interconnected my physical, mental, and spiritual parts were throughout my treatments
and how both my body and soul were healed.
Faced with a deadly terminal illness I was in shock. I had gone to my doctor with a
lump in my neck. I had no other symptoms and felt great other than having this simple
unexplained lump. 18 months prior, my husband and I had proudly started on a low
fat, low sugar, low salt diet and stuck to an exercise program that I had come up with
to decrease his cholesterol and increase my calcium intake. I had successfully lost and
kept off 20 pounds and my husband 8 pounds and our cholesterol levels were great. I
literally felt the best that I had for years. So it was a total shock to hear that I had
cancer and even more that it was so advanced.
My life stopped at that point. It was like the earth literally stopped spinning. Work,
family, friends, money or any other cares or worries disappeared and the only thing I
could think about was that “I have cancer”. The days leading up to the surgery were
empty and I was like a robot just going through the motions of daily life. I couldn't eat
or sleep. I kept playing back the office visit and hearing the doctor say, “It’s cancer”.
So there I was, lying in bed in the middle of the night unable to fall asleep or quiet my
mind. The room was so dark and the only noise was in my brain. I felt so alone and I
cried and I was so worried about making it through the surgery and what the upcoming
chemo treatments would do to me and if I could even make it through the side effects.
That’s when I learned my first lesson, although at the time, it was just the only thing I
could do. I prayed. Having to go through cancer was more than I could possibly
handle. I had to admit it. There was no way that I was going to get through this on
my own. I needed help. I needed something that I didn't have and that family or friends
couldn't give me. So I turned to God. I don’t remember exactly how I started or what
I said, only that the simple act of praying calmed me and as I continued I felt a warm
and soothing sensation over my entire body like a hand gently pressing on me as I
drifted off to sleep. Lesson One ---Surrender. Admit that there are things that are
bigger and harder than you can handle by yourself and say "OK. I need you, Lord.
Please help me." Allow God into your heart and allow Him to show you the mercy of
His love and the power of His grace. It’s an amazing and beautiful thing to have this
happen. I know. Believe me, I know. This was the first step in my recovery and there
was no way I could have done it otherwise.
I started my chemo treatments just one week after my surgery. The following weeks
were hard and painful and scary. It was the most difficult months of my life and
seemed like it would never end. Each day seemed so long and only filled with fear of
what was yet to come. I only got through this by learning a second lesson. Lesson
Two ---Give your Burden to the Lord. Lean on the strength of the Lord for help.
Pray daily asking for what you need. I recall struggling with joint pains and being so
exhausted and tired. Not even sleep would help. I wasn't able to do anything other
than lie in bed. Even watching TV took more energy than I had. I prayed at times like
this for strength --- strength to get through the next ten minutes, strength to make it to
the next hour, strength to face the next day. Jesus helped me to do this. I suppose the
atheist would have other explanations of how this works. The simple act of praying
would be meditation or that I was projecting and using visualization, but I know in my
heart the truth. Praying would calm me and relax me and I was able to endure
everything I had to go through. Jesus heard and answered.
Now my cancer journey is on to the next stage and I've learned another important
lesson dealing with the daily struggle of coping. I've finished with the chemo
treatments and they have worked. It’s been 10 months since my last treatment and
every scan shows no evidence of cancer. Still it's a mental challenge to withstand the
testing and doctor appointments and the fear of a recurrence. At times, I feel it’s
harder than the original diagnosis because now I know what chemo is like and that I
would have to go through that all again. It’s depressing and also hard trying to come to
terms with life after going through so much. Sometimes I wonder if my life will ever
be normal. That’s when I learned this last lesson. Actually this is one lesson that I’m
still learning. Lesson Three ---Let the Lord Take your Burden. It’s a simple
concept, but like I said, I still struggle. If you truly give your burden to God, you have
to let go of it. I shouldn't be like the man who was walking with a very heavy burden
and about every mile or so he would stop, put down his burden, and get down on his
knees and ask God to take this heavy burden away from him. And when he finished his
prayers, he would stand up, dust off his robes, then pick up his burden and walk on.
Trust in the Lord to take and keep the burden so that there is no need to dwell on
what's going to happen or worry about all of the "what ifs". Peace of mind only comes
with peace of the heart and soul and that peace is only through faith.
- "I am praying with great earnestness; answer me, O Lord, and I will obey your
laws. 'save me,' I cry, 'for I am obeying.' Early in the morning, before the sun is
up, I was praying and pointing out how much I trust in You. I stay awake
through the night to think about your promises. Because you are so loving and
kind, listen to me and make me well again." -- Psalms 120:145-149