Miracles and Wonders
Hello, this is a test of your faith.
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It was a beautiful, warm and sunny, Tuesday afternoon in NC when the phone rang.
“Hello” the pleasant voice said. “This is Margaret with Dr. Williams’ office and the CT
scan shows a swollen lymph node in your abdomen that looks suspicious”. That’s
what I heard, but the real message was from Jesus and He said “this is a test of your
faith”.
It’s ironic that it was just the day before that I was fussing with my hair and having a
bad hair day, not even thinking how 15 months ago I had just completed chemo and
would have jumped with joy to have any hair, good or bad. Ironic also that one week
earlier I had gotten a blood test result that showed a reduction in my cancer marker and
had gone out for a big steak dinner with my husband to celebrate. My oncologist had
even told me that he thought it would be fine to stretch the time between follow-up
appointments to two months instead of one. Ironic that the very afternoon I got the
phone call, it was finally long enough after my treatments that I was actually having a
normal day with no thought or worries about cancer. That day, I woke up full of
energy and feeling good. I had even gone in for a cardiac stress test, which my primary
care doctor had suggested “for someone my age” --- a routine normal test not
associated with cancer just like any normal healthy person. And just like a normal
person, I passed that test just fine. After the stress test, I had gone to the grocery store
and was in the middle of making dinner when the phone rang. This was going to be
another test, but a much more important one that I really needed to pass. ---- How
strong is my faith?
Unlike the first time when I was told I have cancer, I didn’t start to cry as soon as I
heard the news of my scan. I suppose a cynic would say that I was in denial, and
maybe they would have a point because I do deny that it could be recurrence of
cancer. Or maybe I was simply in shock when I got this phone call, not expecting to
hear bad news again. But I like to think that at that first initial moment I had just the
smallest amount of faith so that I could handle the news gracefully. Sure, when I hung
up that’s when my mind started to wander. Is this cancer again? But I’ve been healed
so how can it possibly be cancer? But what if it is? ---and then I cried. All those
memories of hard times getting through it all just kept rushing through my head. Then
my faith kicked back in and I knew that although my mind has doubts, my heart
doesn't. I’m either cured period and this is not cancer, or if it is, this is just how my
miracle will continue.
Let me explain… I was first diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer Oct of 2005.
After surgery and 7 rounds of chemotherapy, in March of 2006, I had a clean scan.
No evidence of cancer. Jesus had cured me, and I had known it was coming since a
few days after my diagnosis. I consider it a miracle. There isn’t a day that goes by that
I don’t thank God for this miracle and pray for his continuing watchful protection. I
believe. I believe. With all my heart I believe. And it’s with that belief that I know I’m
going to be fine. I’m expecting the needle biopsy to show that this time it is benign. I
have a hard time even envisioning any other result.
When I was first diagnosed I prayed to be healed. And I was healed, but not only my
body. My soul was healed too. I renewed my relationship with Jesus and He has
opened my heart and eyes. I believe that I can see some of the small things that God
does to work his miracle with me. For example, if God hadn’t allowed my cancer to
spread through my lymph system to the point where it made a lump in my neck, I
wouldn’t have gone in to see my doctor and he wouldn’t have discovered my cancer.
One small lump lead to detecting my cancer just in time for the surgery and chemo to
work for me. Yes, a small thing that lead to a big miracle.
I’m wondering if this latest news isn’t just the miracle continuing. My oncologists have
been monitoring a cancer marker in my blood that would rise if I had a recurrence.
The reading has increased somewhat over the last year, but then stabilized and finally
went down last month (that was the steak dinner celebration). So I should still be
cancer free and didn’t have a reason to go in for a scan. But that’s where I believe the
Hand of God comes in.
For the last 2 months, I’ve had some small unimportant symptoms that got to the point
where I felt like I just wanted to have the doctor check me out. My husband even
commented that on any given day, he could probably come up with 10 or more small
things going on with him too and of course he doesn’t have cancer (we’re just getting
old). But he said if it would make me feel better and give me peace of mind, I should
go in to the doctor. So last week, I went in with my list. They could all be explained
away --- side effects of a medication I’m on, a stomach bug that has been going
around, allergy season in the Carolinas, or the fact that I was stressed out over these
little symptoms. My doctor wasn’t worried, but just to be safe he scheduled some
scans, and they showed a suspicious change. So if it hadn’t been for all these
coincidental symptoms I wouldn’t even know about my swollen lymph node. I can’t
help but see God’s Hand in giving me just enough symptoms to motivate me to see my
doctor so that I would have the scan, discover the node, and get it treated so that the
miracle continues. This is just the way that the Lord works his miracles. Small things
that lead to big miracles. He works with us and through us. How can I be so sure? I
have faith.
“Hello” the pleasant voice said. “This is Margaret with Dr. Williams’ office and the CT
scan shows a swollen lymph node in your abdomen that looks suspicious”. That’s
what I heard, but the real message was from Jesus and He said “this is a test of your
faith”.
It’s ironic that it was just the day before that I was fussing with my hair and having a
bad hair day, not even thinking how 15 months ago I had just completed chemo and
would have jumped with joy to have any hair, good or bad. Ironic also that one week
earlier I had gotten a blood test result that showed a reduction in my cancer marker and
had gone out for a big steak dinner with my husband to celebrate. My oncologist had
even told me that he thought it would be fine to stretch the time between follow-up
appointments to two months instead of one. Ironic that the very afternoon I got the
phone call, it was finally long enough after my treatments that I was actually having a
normal day with no thought or worries about cancer. That day, I woke up full of
energy and feeling good. I had even gone in for a cardiac stress test, which my primary
care doctor had suggested “for someone my age” --- a routine normal test not
associated with cancer just like any normal healthy person. And just like a normal
person, I passed that test just fine. After the stress test, I had gone to the grocery store
and was in the middle of making dinner when the phone rang. This was going to be
another test, but a much more important one that I really needed to pass. ---- How
strong is my faith?
Unlike the first time when I was told I have cancer, I didn’t start to cry as soon as I
heard the news of my scan. I suppose a cynic would say that I was in denial, and
maybe they would have a point because I do deny that it could be recurrence of
cancer. Or maybe I was simply in shock when I got this phone call, not expecting to
hear bad news again. But I like to think that at that first initial moment I had just the
smallest amount of faith so that I could handle the news gracefully. Sure, when I hung
up that’s when my mind started to wander. Is this cancer again? But I’ve been healed
so how can it possibly be cancer? But what if it is? ---and then I cried. All those
memories of hard times getting through it all just kept rushing through my head. Then
my faith kicked back in and I knew that although my mind has doubts, my heart
doesn't. I’m either cured period and this is not cancer, or if it is, this is just how my
miracle will continue.
Let me explain… I was first diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer Oct of 2005.
After surgery and 7 rounds of chemotherapy, in March of 2006, I had a clean scan.
No evidence of cancer. Jesus had cured me, and I had known it was coming since a
few days after my diagnosis. I consider it a miracle. There isn’t a day that goes by that
I don’t thank God for this miracle and pray for his continuing watchful protection. I
believe. I believe. With all my heart I believe. And it’s with that belief that I know I’m
going to be fine. I’m expecting the needle biopsy to show that this time it is benign. I
have a hard time even envisioning any other result.
When I was first diagnosed I prayed to be healed. And I was healed, but not only my
body. My soul was healed too. I renewed my relationship with Jesus and He has
opened my heart and eyes. I believe that I can see some of the small things that God
does to work his miracle with me. For example, if God hadn’t allowed my cancer to
spread through my lymph system to the point where it made a lump in my neck, I
wouldn’t have gone in to see my doctor and he wouldn’t have discovered my cancer.
One small lump lead to detecting my cancer just in time for the surgery and chemo to
work for me. Yes, a small thing that lead to a big miracle.
I’m wondering if this latest news isn’t just the miracle continuing. My oncologists have
been monitoring a cancer marker in my blood that would rise if I had a recurrence.
The reading has increased somewhat over the last year, but then stabilized and finally
went down last month (that was the steak dinner celebration). So I should still be
cancer free and didn’t have a reason to go in for a scan. But that’s where I believe the
Hand of God comes in.
For the last 2 months, I’ve had some small unimportant symptoms that got to the point
where I felt like I just wanted to have the doctor check me out. My husband even
commented that on any given day, he could probably come up with 10 or more small
things going on with him too and of course he doesn’t have cancer (we’re just getting
old). But he said if it would make me feel better and give me peace of mind, I should
go in to the doctor. So last week, I went in with my list. They could all be explained
away --- side effects of a medication I’m on, a stomach bug that has been going
around, allergy season in the Carolinas, or the fact that I was stressed out over these
little symptoms. My doctor wasn’t worried, but just to be safe he scheduled some
scans, and they showed a suspicious change. So if it hadn’t been for all these
coincidental symptoms I wouldn’t even know about my swollen lymph node. I can’t
help but see God’s Hand in giving me just enough symptoms to motivate me to see my
doctor so that I would have the scan, discover the node, and get it treated so that the
miracle continues. This is just the way that the Lord works his miracles. Small things
that lead to big miracles. He works with us and through us. How can I be so sure? I
have faith.
- “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them
who are the called according to his purpose.” - Romans 8:28 (KJV)